Hello and Goodbye

Intro:

As most young women my age, when you go through what you deem is a life altering experience whether it be a breakup,a death,moving etc. you do what most people in 2019 do now and run to the internet to cope. In my case it was the timeless breakup that inspired me to run to the internet and blog my life. Whether you will find nay of this relate-able entertaining I am not very sure, I hope so. Will this be cathartic for me? Maybe,maybe not. For privacy purposes I will not say any real names in case people actually start to read this (unlikely).

As the esteemed philosopher Kylie Jenner said, 2019 is the year of realizing things. And let me fucking tell you, oh boy did I realize things.

Getting the ball rolling: My year did not start off too special nothing super insane, then around March my boyfriend of two years decided right before all of my finals that he wanted to call it quits and snip me out of his life. Being told that you are being thrown out along with all of the old habits that makes the love of your adult life unhappy is far from gratifying, it is a cold sucker punch to the gut wake up call. I had spent two years revolving every aspect of my life around *Chad*, planning vacations,visiting his family with and without him, planning OUR future. I had began to put my success and my life on hold because I had become so focused on it being OURS (big no no). And having all of that ripped out from underneath you? Its terrifying to say the least. The first week of the breakup I spent my time crying out any hydration my body managed to hold onto,not eating,sending pathetic texts to get some type of answer, you name it I did it. Because I mean who just throws two years,three living spaces,four vacations,and multiple holidays away in a moments instance with no sort of regret or hurt? Chad I guess. After the first week (and a very impulsive tattoo and hair cut) I had snapped out of it. Dont ask me how because I honestly couldn’t tell you? Did I never really love him like I thought or was I just a bad ass bitch that had moved on ready to acquire all of her potential? I still dont have the answer honestly.

Post Breakup: After a week of being a pathetic bum I did what everyone does, I downloaded Tinder and Bumble. Yes gross I know, but in my defense I had never used either one, they came out when I was in a relationship, and then proceeded to go into another one,and then dating Chad. So that is three years of wondering what the fuck was so enticing about insta-dick. My bios were god awful but did they need to be great when you have natures pocket right between your legs? For tinder,no, Bumble however, I had to try a little more. Having to reach out to men and hit on them with one liners showed me that either A. I had lost all of my game being in relationships for 3 consecutive years or B. I really never had any. It was in the least a very humbling experience. And while my strike outs were rare, they still happened. Conversations were painfully dry no matter how hard you try. But what I can say is that entertaining the men of online dating gave me some very interesting experiences and stories,ones I plan on sharing with you all.

-AA